I Wanna Be Grant Brown
This song was written in response to a news story that was reported on the morning of Monday 13 October 2025. Hawthorn resident, Grant Brown, chased a home intruder through the nearby streets, wearing just a pair of red undies. Every man in Australia wanted to be Grant Brown - even Artie Fishall!
Lyrics
There was trouble down in Hawthorn late one night,
A burglar tried to make his flight,
But out the door came a fearless sound
A half-dressed hero, Grant Brown!
Didn’t even stop to find his pants,
Just gave that crook a running chance,
Down Glenferrie Road under silver skies,
In undies bold and fire in his eyes!
I wanna be Grant Brown,
Running through the streets of this old town,
Didn’t wait for the sirens’ sound
I wanna be, I wanna be Grant Brown.
Through laneways wet with evening rain,
He chased that thief again and again,
Neighbours cheered from every yard,
“Go get him, mate—you’ve got the heart!”
Past the cafes, down the tramline glow,
Hawthorn hearts all cheering low,
He caught that crook by the river bend,
And brought that wild tale to an end!
I wanna be Grant Brown,
Running through the streets of this old town,
Didn’t wait for the sirens’ sound
I wanna be, I wanna be Grant Brown.
No badge, no shield, no shoes to wear,
Just a brave bloke’s spirit in the evening air,
When the cops rolled up and the story spread,
They said, “He’s the pride of Hawthorn,” and grinned instead.
I wanna be Grant Brown,
Running through the night in his undie gown,
Didn’t stop till the chase went down
I wanna be, I wanna be Grant Brown.
Yeah, if I ever see crime in town,
I’ll take my cue from Grant Brown.