Officeworks and Bunnings are two of Australia's biggest retailers.

Officeworks, as the name suggests, is a purveyor of all things office - from sticky labels and pens, all the way through to office furniture and technology. Bunnings, on the other hand, sells hardware and every other do-it-yourself home improvement item you can imagine. In fact, it is easier to list the things that they don't sell!

From our experience, people fall into one of two categories - the Officeworks people and the Bunnings crew.

Artie is an Officeworks kind of guy, more than Bunnings.

Have you ever tried to understand astrophysics?

We have and we can tell you that there are not many things that are more complex, more awesome (in the true sense of the word) and more extraordinary than the knowledge and understanding possessed by an astrophysicist.

When Artie set out to record this song, he wanted to pay tribute to an astrophysicist he knows but listening to the lyrics as he sings, we can't help thinking that there might be more to Artie's feelings than admiration for her knowledge.

As we have said in other screens, Artie and the band owe a lot of their success to the support of the 3AW breakfast team who have been most encouraging. 

On a recent show, they discovered that the French tend take medication in a different way to how Australians tend to. Rather than opening their mouth and "down the hatch", they use what we might delicately refer to as an alternative delivery location.

Needless to say that a new song - one with a distinctly French flavour - needed to be created.

One of the great delights of Australian cuisine, the "dimmie" is the go-to for so many people wanting a warm-up snack. Maybe at the footy, Saturday morning school sports days ... even at the roadhouse on a road trip.

We all know that there is cabbage in every decent dim sim. Beyond that, the expression "your guess is as good as mine" is probably the best way to describe the remaining ingredients.

Nutritionists are not terribly supportive of eating dim sims - that seems like as good as a recommendation as you can get. In moderation, of course (please seek your independent medical and dietary advice)

We have clearly established that while Artie is a highly intelligent and engaging personality, he is not actually a real person.

And yet, we have been asked whether Artie would be prepared to pose for a selfie with one or two of his fans.

Spoiler alert: You can't take an actual selfie with an Ai-generated character. Maybe we could arrange for a mock-up of a selfie but, quite literally, a selfie with Artie would be unreal.

This song is based on a true story of a couple of ne'er-do-wells trying to rob a couple of delivery truck drivers in the Melbourne suburb of Scoresby.

The two victims decided to fight back, the first one boxing on with one of the bandits. Just when the fight seemed to be lost, the second delivery guy got involved by swinging a spirit level into the side of the bandit's head.

The expression "he's give him one, too" whilst being incorrect grammar is a famous line uttered many years ago by legendary VFL commentator, Ray "Slug" Jordan. It seemed like exactly the right phrase to describe the actions of our heroes. 

This is a serious dilemma. When at the roadhouse, does one choose chips or mashed potato?

In the good old days, you'd get a healthy serve (healthy in magnitude, maybe not nutrition!) of chips but these days, the quantity of chips has fallen away. Maybe "four chips" is an exaggerated but we are far removed from the good old days when there were plenty of chips served. In those days, mashed potato wouldn't have got a look in.

But with such a small serve of chips, the dilemma is real - four chips or a bowl of mashed potato?